HELP! I need to learn Spanish quick
Okay, so I’m going to be moving to Seville, Spain next year for a couple of months and sad to say, my Spanish could really use some work! German, Swedish, French, and English are no problem but Spanish… eh… even though everybody says it’s one of the easier languages to learn for English speakers. I don’t know, will try some text comparison and immersive environment techniques for a quick 3 month Spanish brush up.
Are there any Spanish speakers on edublogs? If so, leave a comment! I’d love to have some Spanish buddies and penpals to chat with. 
Life Does Get Better
I just want to say thank you to all the kind bloggers on edublogs who left positive messages here. After the mess of last year things have slowly but surely improved.
Anybody else who is going through something similar should stay strong, indeed life does get better even though at the moment it may seem like the end of the world. <3 <3 <3
Here I go again
I could never understand why people seem to make me cry all the time. This past week has been hell for me, maybe even throughout the whole month. I get upset, then I’ll cry my eyes out. I’m frustrated more than ever, my tears feel hot and I turn into a blubbering idiot. I cry myself to sleep, because it hurts too much. It’s been one of the worse weeks of my life. I don’t know why he had to break my heart. I don’t know anything anymore, every time there’s a question.. I’d just get pushed away and they’d be left unanswered. My birthday’s in three days, and I don’t think I want to live for so long. I know what I’m suppose to do, oh but why does it have to hurt me so much? Life isn’t worth living alone, and I don’t know what I’m going to do now. My eyes hurt from crying. I broke down last night, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I just wanted to be happy, I was being selfish just once. I know what I wanted, and I had it. Now, it just slips away.. It’s just not f****** right.
School
I do a lot of thinking don’t I? It seems like I always get these random thoughts whenever and wherever I might be. I stayed up crying last night after two fights with my mom and my sister. Nothing special really, it was just another one of those family feuds. I swear we fight over the dumbest things. Then again, I should have seen it coming because I’ve been on the verge of crying throughout the whole of last week (more like the whole of last month). I let it all out last night, and I feel a lot better. Last week was the last week of term; we get a two week break from school… more like a two week non-stop study marathon. It seems that each of the teachers’ are all reminding us that their subjects are more important than the others. Sigh so which one do you prioritize? The subjects I’m taking for AS levels are a handful. Though Accounting and Business seem to be less stressful for me because I know the basics and my foundation of the subjects are primarily strong. Physics, Math and General studies however are beyond my knowledge. I’m trying hard to remember why I’m taking Physics in the first place. General studies, as a subject, won’t even be recognized by some universities in London because it’s still quite new. Maths, most of the things we’re studying now are quite new to me. I was seriously lucky to get that A grade for my Module Pure Maths 1. I’ve been trying to get online for the past hour. I promised Rez I’d come online at eight and now its almost half past. I finally saw him online this afternoon while I was hanging out at Koko’s house. My god, I’ve missed him so much. lol two months to go Rez babe =) The student council announcements were last week. Sadly enough (and I’ve got tears and a stab in my heart to prove it), I didn’t get any position in the council whatsoever. I cried in the gym right after the announcements sigh. But I’m proud to say that my best friend, Toni , is now the head girl of JIS. I’m so bloody proud of her. I mean, it was expected but wow, the shock in her face when they announced her name. =) Sigh. Congratulations to the new House Captains of all houses.. especially Green; Michelle Wong and Shahyzul Rahman .. even though it was the position I seriously wanted. I guess you two deserve it more than I ever will. Yes, I’m envious. Yes, I was upset. I don’t think I’ll get over it for a while, but as for now I guess I’ll cope. That’s life right? You win some.. and you lose some. My birthday is in exactly two weeks from today =) I’m looking forward to it because I’ll be turning seventeen.. hey! the quicker it gets here, the sooner I’ll be eighteen and the sooner it will be until I go abroad to a foreign country to continue with my further studies. So I’m happy. However, my birthday will also be the first day back to school, hey~ I wonder what I’m going to do on that day. Sometimes I find it hard to breathe when I think back. My mom says I’m strong.. and I know it takes time to let go. I’m still not ready to because little things take a lot of time. I’ve always wanted to forget and sometimes wished that I could turn back time. I’ve always wondered how my boyfriend can cope with me with my always changing moods. I guess he’s grown used to it because its normal for me to be so indecisive. I’m still growing up. I pierced my left ear last week, lol. Now I have two piercings on my left ear and one on my right. I’ve been meaning to get another one soon. I don’t know what posessed me to get one that day. I guess I was that frustrated about how things were going. I’ve been having misunderstandings with Juls , sigh. We’re okay now, happier than ever. It was our four month anniversary last weekend =) We had dinner at Fratini’s and watched Gothika at The Mall. We’ve been having misunderstandings every now and then, ending up with me being really upset. I get upset over the dumbest things, well.. they’re not really that dumb because I have a right to be upset over what has happened and what’s been said. So never mind, I take back what I said. I’ve got tons of things to get done this week, errands here and there. I’ve been catching up with my sleep and my eye bags aren’t as bad as they used to be when school started (I wonder who’s fault that is? heheh *ahem*). I’ve always wanted to go to bed at nine, but everytime I feel like going to bed.. my boyfriend says to me, “the night is still young”. lol, can you blame him? He’s a great guy, he seriously is. He goes to bed at the weirdest hours, like say four or five am and wakes up in time for lunch. So you can guess in the morning that he’s half dead while I’m always perky in the am. lol, but lately it’s the other way round because.. well, I’ve been sleeping late (11pm is late to me okay? bed time is at 9pm). He, on the other hand, sleeps earlier (11pm is early to him), and wakes up the morning feeling fresh =P Sigh but he’s such a doll. He has no idea how adorable he is. He’s got the cutest face, and the most darling eyes haha yes, I’ve been totally smitten by this cartoon character. He wrote me a letter the other day, I know now that he will go (and has gone) through endless lengths to make me happy. I don’t know whatever made me think that he was going to dump me after a month of going out together..haha =) i love you luv =) I bought the orange-est bag while I was in KL, lol. It’s noticeable and its bright. I can be known as the girl with the orange bag.. sigh It’s been over an hour since I’ve been trying to connect.. and I still haven’t. GEEZ. It keeps telling me that there’s no dial tone. Whatever that means. My phone line is screwy. ARGH.
Feeling hopeless
I don’t understand how a person can break another person’s heart, one of which has already been broken several times. i guess the pain takes a deeper cut than before, and then the wound would take longer to heal. I don’t understand how I can continue on with my life this way, with all these negative thoughts filling up my mind and only adding confusion to my heart. I don’t know why I hold on when I know everything is just wrong and I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I’m better than that, and I know that one day everything will be brighter for me. I never stopped hoping for things to go back to the way they were, but that feeling of hope is slowly fading away with my desperation and sadness. I don’t know why I’m still crying and why I still hurt. Every night I’d pray that one day I’ll wake up and forget that anything has ever happened. Sigh all I’ve been wanting is to feel complete happiness..even for just a minute. You know how you think things are going to end up throughout the day? Then again, you know deep inside that nothing is perfect. So even if that moment even comes close to being described to ‘perfect’, it never really is. I’ve never been that good at lying, I’m a bad liar. I can admit to that, so most of the time I try to avoid situations that would make me lie. Maybe the better word for it is ‘bending the truth’. Every time he looks into my eyes and asks me if I’m alright.. he has no idea how much it hurts just looking at him that way. Every day my heart is breaking more because I know, I know more than ever, that every time I tell him that I love him.. he wants to believe me, but he can’t. He wants things to go the way it should, but we both know that it really can’t. Not with the way things are going right now.. not with all the interventions and the pain I keep feeling in my heart. Life is like a song. Everything seemed so perfect.. it is too good to last. I should have known better, but I guess I was being too hopeful. I should have learnt my lesson years ago, because it has happened once. Look at it now. There’s a cut in my heart, and the memories are engraved into my soul. I should have known.. I’m trying so hard not to cry right now.
Everything Hurts
Have you ever wondered why the first thing that usually pops into your head is something that usually either pleases you or makes you want to hide away from the world? It can be either a happy thought or, sadly enough, an unpleasant one. I woke up this morning feeling as if a rock had fallen on top of me. My head felt heavy and the rest of it is a different story. I stayed up crying in bed last night, it’s cruel really they way I’ve been treating myself. I shouldn’t bring myself to do such things.I know everything will be better and all this will seem like a bad dream, but right now.. that dream is living up to reality and once something starts spinning, it won’t stop until an equal or stronger opposite force stops it. Remember Romeo and Juliet? They were a classic tragedy written by William Shakespeare about two young people who fall in love with one another despite their family feud and resulting into tragic results. I wouldn’t say that my life is like a play, or that it is still called a regular ‘chick flick’. It isn’t anymore because my life is no longer filled with beautiful roses and bright sunny days filled with love and happiness. It’s more like a bush of roses, plus the thorns and weeds that grow in the ground; sprinkle in some grasshoppers and other things that eat leaves.. and there you have it, another effect of nature and how it represents me. I watched The Eye 2 a few days ago (on Sunday I think), and watched Gothika the night before. Both movies are pretty scary, and Gothika freaked me out, hands down. The Eye 2 didn’t seem so freaky once you got to the ending when everything began to make sense. Other than that, you could say its as freaky as Gothika. Cat in the Hat was another show I just watched yesterday with my sister and eight little cousins. I think the movie is overrated, but that might be just me. The jokes they had were more like satire and they had a few corny lines that only the adults would understand..where as the kids would just see it as another line. Heh, other than that it was pretty funny. Stupid, but it had its perks. I need to know what I should take in the next step in my life. All I’ve done so far is sit around and wonder if what I’m doing is right or wrong. It’s funny how people’s first impression of me is someone optimistic, happy-go-lucky and carefree. I guess that’s the impression I want to leave to people, I don’t want them thinking I’m some sort of weirdo who thinks about death and how to make my life more miserable than it already is. I’m miserable, but I’m not that miserable.. funny how I don’t seem to show it though. I try not to because I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. So why am I typing it up online where everyone to see? I want people to know my thoughts, just because I don’t show them out doesn’t mean I can’t express them through words and thoughts. My boyfriend and I have our differences, and yet its those differences that have kept us together. We fight every now and then, but the fights aren’t really that major. We disagree on a lot of things, and yet we agree on some terms. Like today for instance, I was on the phone with him. I was listening to Britney Spear’s toxic.. and the topic went on about being open and such. Britney denies that she sleeps around and ‘claims’ (or claimed) to have be a virgin whereas Christina openly admits that she is not. Basically, what we agreed on today was the fact that we think it’s better off to be honest and admit to whatever wrong has been done so that people can change their views of you and accept what you’ve done rather than denying whats happened and having others accuse you of wrong doings. I miss Koko . I miss you so much girlfriend xoxox. How will things be for me in the future? Sometimes its easier to think back rather than thinking ahead because, the past is what has happened..and the future is never really that predictable. I’ll go now and think about it.
Why are people like this – Why am I like this
I’m not good at lying and I don’t want to start. She can read me like a book, just by a gesture or even shrug.. she knows when somethings wrong (p.s. I love you). My head is always filled with questions and wonderings about what goes on around me or even about what goes on behind my back. I don’t like ignoring these thoughts because that would make me go insane with unanswered questions. You could say I’m happier now, but I don’t know. Am I really? I don’t know. I saw an old friend today, it was nice seeing her again though I didn’t even say hi or smile at her. It made me think back to six years ago.. up to this present day life I lead. Wow how things have changed. I’m another person and so is she. I have my values and she’s thrown away hers.. maybe she’s rebuilding it again, I don’t know. I take pride in myself, and to me.. there’s no one more important in my life than me (with a few exceptions ;D). I’m depressed and I seem to only get my insperation to post when I’m upset. Ade pointed out that most of my posts are depressing..haha and girl, I know that you agree that the only time a person can truly post is when they are at their lowest moods because thats when all the thoughts come in. It’s true really, you don’t think much when you’re happy.. because what’s the point? You’re happy, live the moment! However, when you’re sad.. that’s when you start all the hating, regretting and hurtful thoughts. it’s true right? Care.. in the dictionary it means ‘feel concern’. Take care of means ‘to dispose of’. Funny how they seem to have different meanings. lol =) Okay seriously.. do you really care? How do you know? Is it really a feeling of concern? Are you sure? I’m always worried about my friends. I’ve got this weird sixth sense that always seems to alert me when somethings wrong. I don’t know. Most of the time I’m right though my friends tend to say “no yas, I’m okay”, but in the end of the day they’ll say “There was something wrong. Everything’s okay now”. Sigh, there’s a point when I wish I could have helped, but sometimes its best I keep out of whatevers troubling them. There was a time when I gave up on my friends all together because everything just seemed wrong.. I’ve lost too many things and I’ve got too many troubles. I really don’t know what should be troubling me at this point of my life… but believe me, I have more than my fair share of troubles in this so-called carefree teenage life I have. I finally went out to play pool today with Koko and Eddie . I *almost* (maybe that sounded a bit hopeful) kicked her ass, but sadly.. (heh) she won twice. I miss my boyfriend =\ Ade says that I’m begining to sound like him and our attitudes nowadays are a complete reverse. Well, there’s some truth in it.. then again, I’m still me =D I found out today that Koko Jay ‘s gone to Miri.. for Army camp. It hurts that I don’t know whats going on in his life anymore, he shut the door on me a long time ago, I guess its time for me to lock it and put the key somewhere safe in case he comes back knocking. I talked to Mimi for a bit today. I saw her car and climb in. We started talking for a bit until her man called her up. Then I had to get out of the car =( So yeah, I guess I’ll meet up with her another day. If you were allowed to turn back the pages of time, would you handle events the same way? You probably wouldn’t. Unfortunately, clocks do not run backward and what’s done is past.. or is it really? Do fates give us a second chance? Sometimes, in a strange and eerie way.. they just may. I think the fates have given me a second chance to make things right. I love my boyfriend, and I’m just hoping that he feels the same way.. and this is one part of my life that I’m determined not to mess up. I have got to change that stereotypical view of ‘me’.. geez. All I need now is a chance.
My writings and this weekend
I’ve got this book where I write my thoughts. I call it my purple love book. I don’t exactly write them in detail.. they’re more in poetic form and they’ve got their own hidden meanings to why I’ve written them. I can’t exactly put into words my description of hate and betrayal. Only I can picture it because I’m the one who’s experienced it. My words, my poems.. tell its own story and from that, people can make their own judgments of what actually happened. I wonder how Jane feels about the songs Maroon 5 made.. ‘about Jane’. How twisted. I turn seventeen in twelve days. =) Its funny how time seems to jet past when all you want is for it to slow down. Then again, when you feel like you’re in complete torture, you’d be wishing the next day to come by faster. I wonder why time seems to fly when you’re having fun while it seems to drag when you’re bored. Maybe its the enjoyment :S I wouldn’t really know. Time seems to pass easily for me. I know I’m suppose to be studying at this time of day, but noo.. I’m sitting in front of the pc now, typing away. Dreams are usually said to be warnings, wishes.. sometimes even predictions of the future. I don’t dream much, and when I do.. I tend to take them seriously because I think every dream we have has its own meaning. My boyfriend said, “I hate it when you’re right”. Funny how I always am, especially when it involves him. I don’t know what time I slept last night, but I was on the phone with him around midnight. I saw some photos for the yearbook a few weeks ago, I found a photo of him and I in front of the gym. lol, I think we look cute =) I’ll get a copy and post it up when I find the time. During this two week break, I absolutely have to take Toni out. I don’t know where to, but I have got to take her out. We haven’t gone out together for so long. Throughout the years, I’ve been close with so many people. Most of which have drifted apart, or just suddenly ended. It hurts to think about it, but I guess it’s just a phase of life. It breaks my heart to think about it, I guess everyone has their own versions of heartbreaks. It’s a natural part of life. I don’t think I can think of anyone who’s never suffered a heartbreak before.. getting hurt, is normal I suppose. You’d experience it at least once in your lifetime. That’s what getting disappointed is all about. I wonder if I’ve learnt my lesson yet. Eh, Koko look: Marsha. Marsha Powell? Marsha Bergmann? Hertz? Mm.. think about it. Hehe get back to me. mwah. Today is the fortieth day since my grandfather passed away. My family and relatives will all be headed down to Tutong to mark this day. I still miss him and I guess I’m still learning to accept the fact that he’s actually gone. Death is another natural part of life, I guess its just something everyone will go through in any stage of their life. I’d start talking about love, but who am I to talk about it? I think I know what it is, but I don’t think I know enough about it. Love isn’t something that a person can describe fully. There will never be enough words to desribe the feelings felt, and the hurt experienced.. I wouldn’t really know. I’ve wasted too many tears and time about it. Then again, I’d like to say that I’d rather have a memory of what I once had rather than having to be alone and not know how different things could have been. ‘Cause it’s breaking my heart When I look in your eyes And I don’t see me anymore and you’re all I’m living for – All 4 One : Not Ready for Goodbye. I know how it feels to be loved, and I know how it feels to be in love. I also know how it feels to hurt, I guess my frustration and rage still seethes inside of me, waiting to explode. I’m not revengeful. I don’t think. At least I try not to be.
Is change good or just necessary
I never really did enjoy watching other people have fun while I didn’t. I guess sometimes the only fun you can get is when you’re actually in that part of ‘ fun ‘. I’ve been the way I am since the end of 2008. Everything’s so different now, I don’t think I could have imagined that I’d turn out this way. I always thought things will always stay the same, because life back then was so routine that it was predictable. I guess that made everything boring. Personally, I’d prefer to be spontaneous which makes it more fun. I get bored easily, but there are some things in my life I would have rather kept the same. I’m not saying that I regret what’s changed then and what’s different now. I’m just saying I would have preferred it stay the same. I’m happy with how my life is now, and how it has made a full swing turn. I never thought I’d be this strong to move on with my life, because I know there was a point when my world revolved around two people and all that mattered was keeping them happy. I gave up my time, my nights.. for them. Now, I’m learning to be more appreciative towards myself. I promise, that this time, I’m not going to let what happened then happen again. The most important thing to me now, is learning to love myself more and appreciate what I’ve got. I can’t stop tears from running down my face, but I know I can try and find my way out. Why did everything disappear so fast? I’ve always wondered how one decision can change everything for the rest of your life. How can something so small make such a significant impact on a person’s life? It doesn’t make sense and it’s crazy. I can’t find words to express how deeply hurt I’ve been and reminiscing about it doesn’t really help much. I try to talk to him about it, but it somehow just gets me really riled up and then I’d get totally upset. Being upset, probably upsets him . It’s unbelievable. I can’t lie about how I’m not over a lot of things, and he knows I’m not. I’m just glad that he’s allowing me to take things a step at a time and no forcing me to forget it once and for all. He’s a great guy, and being there is all I need from him for now, and he always has. I know he always will be. I used to write a poem at least once a week, my depression used to be my inspiration. I could write about my persona, my thoughts.. and they would be buried in a deeper word path, inside a world that only I could understand. I guess I’ve lost my muse, since I haven’t written a single line since early 2003. It’s beginning to scare me because writing was my only way of getting rid of my pain and sorrow. I don’t show how much I hurt in front of others, I know I’m good at that. I know that my smiles can always be seen as ‘real’, but only a few know what is ‘real’ and what is not. And sometimes through pictures, you can see still images of my ‘forced’ smiles. I always thought I’d be forever happy. I always thought you’d be next to me. I always thought you’d be my best friend, just the way you promised to be. You broke your promise. You broke it. I thought by then you’d know how much our friendship meant, I mean I threw one away so I could keep ours. That’s how much you meant to me. Now, all you see when you look at me is dirt. You and your so-called ‘friends’, each and everyone of them hate me because of that f***ing image you created of me. They don’t even know my side of the story. I always thought you’d be there. I’m trying hard to accept that you’re no longer there, but that’s something I can’t accept. Why? Because you’re my best friend. You’re my best friend. Despite the fact we haven’t spoken, nevertheless, you’re still the person I’d imagine you to be, you’re still the person I wanted you to be, you’re still that person that I wanted to forever be friends with. I’m suppose to be strong, but I can’t. Nothing makes sense when I think about it. And I’m hating every moment of it. [ADDED] My sister is being stalked by a preacher. My god. ” Well, I’m not exactly being stalked, the guy is all the way in the ‘amazon’ world ” – tee hee hee, that’s like the quote of the day lol =) Anyhoots, .[/ADDED]
Finally Writing Something
Well, never in my life have I made a layout that looks like this. It’s different isn’t it? Empty and bare. The site’s been abandoned for over a month now and the ‘under reconstruction’ bit is a lie. I’ve moved with my family to Malaysia and am settling in just fine now. AS Modular results came out yesterday, I managed to score a hefty 83 out of 100 for my Mathematics P1. That’s an A grade by the way. Unfortunately, for my Module 2 Physics, I could only go along with a pathetic 48 out of 90. However, I’m grateful because I obtained a D grade. To be honest, I expected a lower mark than that, so I’m happy. But, I still cried as I was seriously disappointed with myself. Sigh, oh well.. two more modules to go and hopefully I can boost up my grade up to at least a B. About a week ago, I went to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with the school basketball team. We left on Thursday morning at 7:30am using the school bus. I guess on that day, fates were against my boyfriend and I since he wasn’t able to see me off (he came to school at eight). It was a dreadful day, rain was pouring non-stop. It rained on the way to the Terminal in Muara, and it wasn’t exactly my idea of a cheerful morning. I love the rain, especially during the afternoons. Unfortunately for me, on that day.. all the rain did was depress me. I sat with my best friend, Toni , during the entire duration of the trip. The boat ride to Labuan made me sick and drowsy but the fun bit was that Toni and I got to gossip with Danielle . They played Spiderman on the boat TV set. Mike made it to into the guys basketball team, so he went along on the trip as well. I realize that throughout the trip, I didn’t really talk to him. I guess we were both busy with our own issues. Anyway, the whole trip from Brunei to Labuan to KL took over thirteen hours. When we arrive at the hotel, we saw Ms. Stevenson. She was my PE teacher back in Year 9 and also Toni , Maria , Danielle and Siobhan ‘s basketball trainer back in the day (sounds old doesn’t it? lol). We had our first game against them the next day. At the end of the trip, we managed to win one game and lose two on Friday, and we won two games on Saturday. Making us the Plate Champions.. hehe we won medals too =) Over all, I spent about $350BN in KL (and that was for two days).. mostly on food and other expenses. I didn’t buy much, I bought maybe a few shirts for myself and a bag for my sister. I turn seventeen in about three weeks, I’m looking forward to it even though I never receive presents most of the time except from my sister and a few loved ones. It’s going to be on the first day of school, first day of term three. Fun. I’m probably going to end up having a bad day and at the end of that, I’m most likely to end up crying. I’m fed up with myself. I’ve gone through more crying sessions than any teenage girl should, well, in my view anyway. I’m happy. I’m back and I’m happy. Do you believe me? No, I didn’t think so. I like to zone out every now and then. My thoughts are usually distracting, and they tend to be depressing. I feel bad for my boyfriend since he has to put up with me every single day. He says I should always smile because when I don’t, I look like I’m going to cry. What he says is probably true, so I try not to think about it too much. I know I don’t talk about my boyfriend much in my posts. At least I don’t describe him as well as I should. I try not to because of personal reasons.. and there are some people out there I don’t wish to offend (you know who you are, don’t you?) Ah, who cares? =) Julian is a year older than me, he’s in my PE and Physics class. I have lunch with him everyday in school.. and I see him everyday before class and during recess. I spend as much time as possible in school with him since we both can’t really go out during the weekends. I’ve been with him for almost four months now, and we’ve been going through and past obstacles, and we’ve still managed to stick together. None of us, including myself and him can believe that we have lasted this long.. and I’m happy that we have. He’s a great guy and he has never failed to cheer me up when I’m down. I can describe him like he’s a Japanese Anime cartoon, and as my best friend Toni has once said, “when I see Julian walking, I imagine lines like the ones you see in cartoons”. A lot of people have said that he and I look alike, though I’ve failed to see what it is that makes us look the same. I’ll pretend not to understand the next time someone says that to us again. His best friend (and mine), Mike , says that we’re so much alike. That I can agree on because my boyfriend is my partner in crime. Especially when it comes to picking on Mike. =) My boyfriend is cute, and he’s funny. And I love him so much. xoxo Sayang, I know you’re smiling like a nut now. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I think I mention that fact whenever I post. I do think a lot. My thoughts usually end up with me getting a massive headache, with my eyes trying hard not to cry. I’m a pessimist, I know that very well. I used to be happy like 24-7. I mean, there was a time when all I could see was sunshine. Now, I’ve learnt that mistakes happen all the time and life isn’t just a bunch of roses.. there’s still the thorns. It’s the thorns that cut you more and nothing as beautiful as the rose petals can ever cure the pain you feel so quickly. It takes a while to get over things, doesn’t it? My boyfriend and I were talking about this last night. I know that I’m not over a lot of things in my life, and I’m thankful that he understands and that he allows me to take time in my life to slowly work on what I need to do. It ended with a cheerful note, and honey, I did mean what I said. My boyfriend is a doll for being able to be so cheerful all the time, and I’ve always asked him why he’s that way. And every time, I get the same answer, “well, you’re always depressed. It’s my job to make you happy”. Yes he’s a doll. haha =) On Tuesday last week, 9th of March, I stood up in front of Green house for house elections. There were about 150+ students and teachers in that small dance room, and there I stood scared and nervous. I was so shaky that I thought I was going to faint. lol, my friends.. scolded me because I sounded like I was going to cry. Yes, I was nervous.. I felt like my legs were going to fall off. I began my speech with a very shaky tone, and I doubt it impressed anyone. Now, I’m just glad its done and over with. However, with that chaotic speech presentation.. all I can do for now is hope and pray that I will get what I want, which is to be the Head of Green house. Sigh, but I really shouldn’t get my hopes up too high. Oh bloody hell, I think I deserve the title. I’ve been in JIS for almost four years now, and I know that I love Green house more. =P p.s. If my competition reads this, don’t kill me.
